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Let the games begin - Murray River Swing




The game seems to be in reasonable condition after Byron Bay and before the start of the Tour for 2020.

This year we start in Yarrawonga at the mighty Black Bull, The Shooter played pretty good here last year and was looking for a good start.


Arrived after a mind numbing 5 hour drive from Forbes, that was nothing like the 12 hour snoozefest from home the day before. Forbes Golf Club still have a sign out the front looking for the bastard that put that stupid ball and club up the top of the entrance, they want it removed. I left a scrawled letter saying it was Stickers, he left his large ball but took all their money, that will fuck em.


Straight to the course for some chipping practice just to lube up the silky action. Then Disco comes along and we play the back 9, Shooter impresses as he rolls in a smooth 12 footer on the first hole for a little birdie and ends up shooting -2 for the back 9. Fuck me it feels easy sometimes. Finish golf and move into town at a beautiful 1.5 star establishment, reminds me of the #tourlife I have missed. I find out later, I am at the wrong end of town as no one down here has any teeth, Disco laughs as he tells me that is certainly not the “Paris end” Its only 3 nights before I change accommodation to the luxurious “Disco Central Clubhouse”.


Day 1 arrives, Shooter is apprehensive but quietly confident. A little confidence is sometimes a good thing, 9 straight pars and a birdie on 18 to turn -1, walk through to the first tee, sign a few hats, couple of balls and give them to the kids. Some of the cheeky little fuckers even got under the ropes.


Birdie 1, birdie 2, birdie 3, fuck me, Shooooooooot, look at this shit. Hit 2 less than perfect shots on the way in to shoot a nice little 70 as the opening tournament round of 2020.

Nice start Shooter. I tell the Yarrawonga Times that its a hard start and I left a few out there.

76 second day after starting with 4 straight bogies, that made the temperature rise a little but a solid finish to win some OOM coin.


Yarrawonga next, played like a busted ass here last year, had a practice round with Disco and Canon, these two are golf tragics of the highest order. Golf course is in good condition but not as good as Black Bull, the match with Disco goes down to the last I think, he does his best. Best shot of the day was Disco’s 4 iron on 12. Its a hard par 3 that was playing into the wind. Shooter hits 4 iron, half way there realises it was 1 too many and it rests on the back edge, Disco under the pump, hits a large shank, a hosel rocket, the ball smashes into a sprinkler control box and comes back left and almost behind him.

A truly amazing display of skill. I did take points off in the end because I thought no one could ever hit it there…..ever….. but upon checking the box, it had 9 ball dents in it already, maybe lots of people on the Murray hit sockets.


Lake Course the first day, playing well, ready to go. Hook the first 3 wood, hits a tree, falls straight down, punch out, hit a tree, punch out, flip it onto the green push the little left to right putt low of the hole to start with a great little double, you mother fucker.

End up shooting 76, 75, not bad in the scheme of things especially after some highlights like the first hole double and the lay up with an 8 iron that lands in the fucking lake in addition to the finish on the Murray course where I hit a pull hook into a grove of trees and bushes, decide to take a unplayable, drop it 2 club lengths, chip it out miss green 2 putt for double.

Playing partners ask why I didn’t take it back 40 yards to the nice mown part of the course rather than drop it in the shit ? I said I was a little hot after the missed 6 footer on the last and wasn’t thinking well, I had to apologise on the previous tee for saying in a volume higher than I needed to “get fucked” as the putt slid by. Then hit it to 3 feet on the next, didn’t get a lip and then par the last.


First 2 tournaments this year have been pretty good. Hitting it well, apart from the 6th on the Murray and the attitude is better apart from the now infamous “get fucked” on 5 green.


Bring on Rich River.


Happy Shooter out.

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