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Too polite Sunday Shooter



Must admit I left the golf course yesterday a little uneasy. The game went along without controversy and in a polite and jovial manner. I was a little shocked and felt uncertain as none of the normal swearing, club throwing, personal abuse or questions about Stickers sexuality surfaced.

We all know Stickers sexuality changes as much as his putting method, he unveiled a new one on the putting green today.

Balls went up on the putting green and the teams were Stickers and Contribution vs Singlets and Shooter. Before the balls went up the discussion was to have Contributions handicap dropped to 6 for the future, we still have to get him off shots on par 3’s though. No individual again today, there is a growing resentment that Shooter always wins.

Today was better as Contribution did not hit a tee marker with his driver on the first for the second week in a row, they were off to a better start. After going Driver, 3 wood, 3 wood Contribution was 4 feet from the hole, fuck me, reminded me of Blisters. I think he needs more handicap. 1 down through 1.

We won 3 and 4 and then lost 5 when Singlets and Shooter both three putted from 30 feet, fucking normal. Shooter holes a 30 footer on 6 for birdie and then a 15 footer for birdie on 7, didn’t that throw the cat amongst the pigeons. We halved 8 and 9 having successfully holding off the shots held by Contribution. Singlets and Shooter 2 up at the turn.

Very boring and uneventful back 9 with 7 halved holes in a row, not sure we have seen that before. Then on 17 tee Contribution hits it down pin high with his driver just left of the green 40 feet from the pin, fuck me, glad he gets a shot here. Makes 3 net 2. I just don’t think he gets enough shots.

Shooter hits his on the green and Singlets left pin high both make 3. 1 down the back, 2 up the match with 18 to come.

I ask Contribution if he wants another shot down 18, he says yes, I said fuck off. Contribution in the fairway, Stickers in the fairway short of the bunker, Singlets in the bunker on the right, Shooter on the brow of the hill.

Stickers hits his down to the front long grass on the hill, he is looking to make 4, Singlets on the green for 3. Shooter hits one of the best 2nd shots that 18 has seen in recent memory, lands on the green runs to 50 feet. Stickers chips it to 3 inches, he measured it with his dick. The other 2 in for 5’s.

Shooter needs to 2 putt from 50 feet through a swale, first down hill then back up breaking right to left, just as I drew the putter away, Stickers says “looks like a 3 putt” What a little fucker.

Putt is on a good line but fuck me its a bit hard, sails past the hole at pace, settles 10 feet by, Stickers have given it a bit of a little laugh, rotten horrible fucking human.

Now these are the moments that make the man, match in the balance, we are 1 up the match with Stickers in his pocket for 4. This 10 footer stands between winning and losing. It works out $1 a foot.

Singlets is nervous, Stickers is still got a stupid little grin on his face, Contribution is looking at Stickers lovingly. Shooter is as cool as normal, puts a stoke on it as smooth as honey dripping off a stick and it rolls truly starting inside left edge and breaking back to the centre of the hole for the win.

$10 changes hands, lucky they didn’t play the singles.

Given there were no tantrums, no cart paths were hit with putters and the carpark was not torn up by spinning Mazda wheels unfortunately 6 workers from Paveways have lost their jobs this week.

Shooter out


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