Stickers - Redemption Round



After a 4 week hiatus Shooter ventures out to play, the director of back surgery at Sunshine Coast hospital said I shouldn't be playing, "of its type, its the worst injury I've seen in all my years" was his direct quote.


Never the less, with the resumption of the season approaching, its now or never. Grinders gotta grind. Players gotta play. With a less than spectacular 9 holes under his belt and a withdrawal after 3 holes in the previous pro am the week before, Shooter takes on Stickers at the magnificent Twin Waters layout.


Some are calling it a battle, most of the media are calling it a forgone conclusion. Singlets is out as he claims he cant see, after having a pterygium taken from his eye only to reveal a cataract. Surgery is imminent.

His chest is slightly better, knee still fucked, neck still sore, toe still rooted after the day he thought he was Peter Daicos (one for the oldies) and he is currently resting up after a highly painful colonoscopy procedure performed by an ex girlfriend who had forgotten to write "Lube" on the surgical notes. She did say afterwards it was an oversight by the attending staff, Singlets wasn't so sure. He did mention he heard her say "lets see how you like it" before the aesthetic kicked in. Lets just say he wont be in a hurry to go back.


It's as hot as the devils asshole out here today, humidity has got to be 150% on top of the 32 degrees, there is no way I am walking. Stickers shows up, throws his bag on a pull buggy and starts to flush balls from the range, fuck me, he is committed.


After I tell him I am riding he says ok but looked quite sad, he is an athlete.


First tee, the game is matchplay, I normally have to give him 1 on 3, 8, 9, 16, 17 but today he announces he is not taking any shots and will compete like a real golfer. Looks like the little fucker is a bit keen on himself.


Shooter hits a wedge to 4 feet on 1, Stickers on the left edge under the swale, Shooter misses and Stickers 2 putts for a half.

Shooter half sockets one down 2, chips up from the edge of the lake but its good enough for a half. Interesting start, long way to go.

Stickers wins the 3rd, Shooters broken back grabs during a downswing, 1 down.


Shooter has a 20 footer for birdie on 4 and Stickers is in garbage rough on the right hand side of the green. Given the lie, his 15 footer is a good result, that is until the fucker holes it for par, this is starting to shit me now.

Stickers hit it over the green on 5, I tell him it's down in the trees with my friend the black snake and to watch out the fucker is big, black and hungry.

Well fuck me if it hit the rough and stopped, now he has a chip from the edge of the green, although it is a shit lie. He chips it to 3 inches, pick it up you little smiling fuck. Shooter misses the 12 footer for birdie.

Fuck still 1 down.


6 and 7 are halved in par, Shooters back, whilst broken, is still going ok, a lesser man would be in an ambulance by now. Punch through Shooter, punch through.

Stickers wins 8 after a superb pitch shot from the left hand side to pick up range and Shooter knives one over the green as the back and left hip have an argument on which way to bend. 2 down.


Shooter doesn't like this one little bit, Stickers hooks the driver down 9, in this humidity the ball is flying 200 meters, its just falling out of the sky. Here's your chance Shoot, Stickers in the rough. Shooter hits a worse hook over the cart path, bad enough that a chip out is required.

Stickers wins 9, Shooter 3 down.


Fuck, unfamiliar territory.


Now its Shooter time, at the turn, down and seemingly out, this is when all that experience kicks in. Grind.

Shooter wins 10 after Stickers misses a 5 footer, that's more like it, 2 down.

Shooter wins 11 after holing an 8 footer to which Stickers had no answer even though he hit the pitch of the year the shot before, he was dead in the long grass with a clump of grass behind the ball, how he got it on the green I don't know. Doesn't matter fucking loser, Shooter now 1 down.


Stickers has the pressure building from all angles, he had a comfortable lead now that has almost gone, I saw his bottom lip quiver. His tee shot on 12 goes hard right, pitch out hits a tree and goes in the fairway bunker, amateur mistake from the former Tour Pro and National Invite recipient. Finally his 4th hits the green to pick up range. He is shattered.

That's until Shooter gets bitten by an electric eel disguised as a Scotty Cameron California Honey Dipped Monterey and has a uncharacteristic 3 whack for a half. Shooter stands on 12 green for a minute and reflects on that turn of events.


Stickers has a lifeline that he sorely needed, he was leaking oil under extreme pressure from The Shooter and as he is skipping off through the tunnel he is whistling one of his favourite songs The Climb by Miley Cyrus, a tale of overcoming self doubt and achieving your goals in life. He loves that shit.

For all you other women out there, you can view it here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-2DG8l-Urg


Miley must have pumped him up, he smashed one up 13, he was still whistling walking off the tee and he had his eyes closed. Shooter holed a 5 footer for a half though, still 1 down.

Shooter naturally wins 14 to go back to all square, 15 halved.


Stickers hits an extremely poor 2nd on 16, now he has a pitch 20 yards, tight lie, into the grain, over the bunker to a short cut pin. Shooter is past the bunker in a lie that looks better but still not great. Stickers hits the best shot I have seen him hit since the pitch on 11, so crisp, so textbook, so Stickers. Fuck, 1 down.


17 halved, fuck, Stickers is 1 up with 1 to play, Shooters back is haemorrhaging but as an athlete he wont go down without a fight.

Shooter hits a poor over the top pull off the tee, Stickers pipes it down the middle, dances off the tee with Miley ringing in his ears. Stickers 3rd lands on the front edge and stays in the rough, Shooter hits his into the back left trap and gets it up and down for par. Stickers again gets it close and holes it for par to win 1 up.


I have always said when a man reaches his pinnacle and beats The Shooter I will be the first to shake his hand and congratulate him. I even had to buy Stickers a Canadian Club for the privilege. Well done Sir.


Doesn't mean I have to like it. I will be back.


Holding a grudge Shooter out.