top of page

Samoa week – Old Fucker Blisters


Now, that flight wasn’t the best idea, maybe it was the 100 beers beforehand, no, it’s the flight.

Arrive in Samoa at 5:30am, slept as much as I could on the plane, got out and saw a shop that sold mince pies, can’t be too bad I thought ! As it turns out, maybe not the best option, now my guts is rumbling and the Latte isn’t helping.

Sore guts, hangover headache, now I have to wait just over an hour for the Old Fuck Blisters. Almost a fall asleep a few times, see the plane has landed from Sydney. After a half an hour it arrives, limping out of customs, looking like he is 106 years old and the golf bag falls off the cart all over the floor, Jesus it’s going to be a long week.

Blisters steals and scams some guys ride to the hotel, some poor bastard is now stranded.  After arriving, he tells the check in girl he needs a room quick because he hasn’t slept. She rightfully says, “you aren’t registered here", I laugh. We go to breakfast, room is ready half hour later. Perfect.  Blisters looks like he owns the joint, races into the room and throws his shit on the best bed and says he bagsed it, now we are 12 again. 12 was 90 years ago for this old fuck.

We have been in the room for 5 minutes and he is spread eagled storing his ass off, fuck me, only 6 more nights to go. Be friendly Shooter, be hospitable.

After a few sleeps, we decide that supermarket down the road is a good option and then dinner at the hotel restaurant is the winner.  Blisters has had another shower, left the hand towels scrunched up so it has no chance to dry, then leaves water everywhere so people can slip on it and smash their heads. No thought for anyone’s safety. Reminds me of the day in LA when Stickers left a bathroom in a horrible state with no consideration for anyone else. I will go as far to say this is worse.

I think I will iron my shirts and get ready for the week. When I opened the cupboard, the old fuck has left me 1 coat hanger, Jesus, then I find out it’s broken. Of course it’s fucking broken, fuck.

After dinner it’s time to sleep, Old fuck goes for another shit, he has shit more than anyone I know, then as I’m organising stuff, he turns all the lights off, he must be ready I assume, fuck what I’m doing, I can’t wait until he flicks through the TV for the 87th time. Fuck this rooming with old fucks is hard work.

Day 1, I’m getting a fucking knife, only 6 days to go.

Hospitable Shooter out


bottom of page