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S4 - The Road Warrior

After the 2500 klm drive for the first part of the season, the coldest putter you can imagine, the postponement of Sydney and the food poisoning incident, I now find myself in Yarrawonga deciding weather to go home for a week (its only 1700 klm) or spending the week more productively and practice.

Practice wins, got myself some sweet accommodation, got myself some good boys at Black Bull who have allowed me to use their facilities to practice and I have myself some choppers to pick up a couple of shekles for a couple of beers after the round. Does it get any better ?

Disco and Cannon did come up with some hairbrained scheme that they, as a 2 ball ambrose, could beat The Shooter around 9 holes, Pfffftt I say, no chance, they clearly have not learned enough hard lessons.

Cannon didn't miss a shot, Disco chimed in on the odd occasion and Shooter hit a ball in the soup down 2 but did what he is famous for and ground out a reputable even par score.

On this occasion it wasn't enough by a shit load with the choppers shooting -3. Fuck, might have to think about this some more next time.

After a week The Shooter is making plans to get on the road to go and play Mudgee, its only 4 hours west of Newcastle and Newcastle is only 8 hours from Yarrawonga, another fucking walk in the park.

Up the night before, stay in Newcastle then out to Mudgee the next day. Got a practice round booked for 12.30, alarm goes off and The Shooter gets jumping, load up all the gear and take it out to the car.

Car wont unlock, light comes on when I push the button but it wont open. Now I'm thinking the battery is gone. Take all my gear back inside, down to Woolies to get a new battery.

New battery fitted, YouTube man tells me I may have to re code the key now, no problem, I am a genius.

Recode key, go out to load up, bit later now, not desperate yet, we are still good.

Nothing, dead as a fucking dodo.

Back on YouTube, trying to find a way to get into the car without the auto locking, every fucking video for a half hour telling me there is a slot under the door handle, no there isn't For Fucks Sake. In the 2005 to 2022 Golf there is but not in this.

Find a keyhole in the passenger door, put the key in and it just turns, doesn't open the door. Now I have spent an hour trying to get into the fucker, plus new batteries, plus YouTube. I admit defeat and call RACQ. In NSW they have no idea of my membership etc so they have to talk to QLD first, another 10 minutes, then they come back and tell me they will send a guy. Before the guy hangs up he said he has a trick, there is a slot under the door handle !!!!!! Fucking idiot.

Text arrives, service guy should be there within 90 minutes, now my practice round is fucked, 10 minutes later another text, guy is only 20 minutes away, now that's service. I decide I will just go out and try the key again, still nothing and then realise its not my key.

Holy fuck, I've been using the key from Sweet's car, changed her battery and everything, what a cock.

In a panic, I get my key, remote locking works beautifully, call NRMA back, it takes 5 minutes but I manage to get the job cancelled, thank Christ for that, didn't want to be that guy.

Now I have loaded up the car, wasted 2 hours, practice round is fucked but I am ready to go, in the rear vision mirror the NRMA guy shows up, oh shit.

I spent the next 15 minutes lying to him.

Finally on the road for the mind numbing, time stopping drive to Mudgee, go practice a bit and have a burger in the pub. Next morning, feeling pretty good, start flushing it, hole fucking nothing and 34 putts for -1 and a T3 finish.

Back to Newcastle, Apple Carplay doesn't work all the way back, maybe that is karma for lying to the NRMA guy.

On the road again back to The Clubhouse in Yarrawonga for a couple of days before Sweets flies in for the last leg of the trip, off to South Australia.

Sweets arrives at Melbourne Airport, I knocked out the 2 and a half hours to Melbourne the night before, now its a hop of 5 hours to Mt Gambier, what a nice way to spend a day.

Upon arrival my knee is killing me, I hurt it a couple of months back when caddying for Andrew at RQ and it hasn't got better. Anything more than a couple of hours in the car and it kills.

Early nights sleep and a good practice session helps the next day, just flushing it.

Tournament starts and the ball striking is pure, couple of loose ones in the middle but again the putter is a block of ice and nothing goes in, 73 is the best we can come up with. Day 2 is colder, its a bit harder to move and this knee isn't good, something is just a little bit off and cant quite get the ball to hit the middle of the face. Very uninspiring golf to finish but hang on to be able to place another novelty cheque in the tour bus for the drive to Adelaide.

4 and a half hours later we arrive in the dark into Hahndorf and cannot find the hotel, some calls were made, hotels found and finally we head to the pub for dinner.

Practice day was s little slow, Shooter has played the course before so just wanted to see the changes.

Changes ! Fuck me, last year it was wet and heavy, balls were embedding and the course played wet and hard, this year the course was hard and dry, completely different and balls were running 50 yards downhill away from the targets.

Its fair to say that the golf course chewed me up and spat me out again this year, 36 and 38 putts in the 2 rounds didn't help, neither did the 6 yippy chips, 8 flubs, 3 knives and 4 lost balls. Can't wait to go back next year, I love a good reaming.

Sweets flies home and The Shooter makes his way to Yarrawonga again for the night (just another casual 9 hour drive), a little game on the Sunday at Black Bull and a riveting straight shot for 16 hours home.

Fuck me if the car doesn't need its second service in 6 months.

Nothing now until Mid May in Sydney from the postponements and then Fiji in June.

Shooter is officially entering a maintenance period.

Knocking up some K's Shooter out.

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