Oh Blisters I think you are in trouble, Stickers can’t wait till you get here. He thinks he will be able to retire after you have been.
We went out on Thursday afternoon for a little cheeky 9. Normally I think playing 9 holes is like kissing your sister but at 3:50 in the afternoon you really don’t have too many options. So your sister it was.
The only reason I agreed was that my cashflow is a little down with Singlets not playing due to his sore chest. I got a bit of inside info that the new masseuse hurt his chest when she was sitting on it, although I have not confirmed this by photos as yet.
It fucking started early with Stickers declaring he has found the key to golf and that he is back. Fuck me, I have heard that so much, all with no outcome. Again, Stickers hit some good shots. His ratio of good shots vs shit ones is getting better.
After I made a par on 1 and 2 and Stickers had gone par double, it was decided by him that it was matchplay instead of stroke. Fuck me, we haven’t played matchplay for 10 years but apparently when you go 2 down that’s what happens. Little fucker.
So, just to shit him I went 2 up after 3, that will teach the little hair tipped fucker. Stickers wins 4 after a rare bogey from Shooter and he started gobbing off again, fuck him so I won 5 to go back to 2 up.
One part that I was disgusted about is he made me putt a 5 footer on the 6th for par and a half, what an asshole, I was so shocked I had to ask him twice what he said. His answer was the same both times. Putt it you cockhead he said.
I was shattered, then holed it and hit it on the green on 7 to 15 feet. Fucking little fuck almost hit his in the water left and made the best 3 he has ever made ever ever ever.
The walk to the 8th tee was the longest walk I have had for a while, he was bouncing and flicking his hair because he made a par. Then I saw something I haven’t seen for a while. After I had hit my drive like a tracer bullet, Stickers hit the best drive he has hit for a long time, a high slight fade on the wind that went around the bunkers on the right, I couldn’t believe it, magnificent golf shot, 30 yards behind mine but magnificent none the less. I couldn’t speak for 2 minutes. He did the club twirl whilst still in his follow through, turned and gave me the hat tip. Fucking wanker.
All the good work was then fucked as he missed the green right, I hit my 9 iron to 1 foot, made birdie and won 3/1. Although he then hit a great chip from so far right he almost had the trees in his backswing and it settled to a foot. I gave it to him to make him feel better after being crushed again by a rampaging Shooter.
I told him to take some positives from that smash up, he did his best and that’s all that anyone can do. He almost gave me a swivel kick to the chest.
Shooter then hits a rare hook down 9, lost ball, reload made double. Stickers hits it in left trap, good shot over the green chip to 20 feet, holed it for 4. As usual, he holes fucking everything.
Secretly, that was my plan to give him more confidence for next time. Maybe the worst part was he tried to pay me with a $10 note that had all of the colour rubbed off it, there is no way it’s real currency. The bet was for a little $5 and he tries that shit. I told him to cash it first in the pro shop then pay the fucking bet, he declined. Made me more sus that what he tried to give me was not real.
Still waiting for the cash. Keep thinking of Stickers having a little laugh to himself thinking that he got away without paying.
Non Paid Shooter out