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Tour Life – Melbourne Swing

Disaster Strikes

Fuck me, could the Melbourne swing have started worse !

Cape Schanck, never played there before, never seen the place, should be ok, what could go wrong.


Started on 18, other pro tells me its ok to hit it right over the tea tree, bunker at 240 on the left looks very bad. Early morning, no range work, cold on the 18th tee. Fuck it, hit the driver. Hard right, fuck me, that could be lost.


I’ll hit a provisional, smoke that one into the fairway, always the fucking way. Find the first of course, in loose sand under a tea tree bush, covered by a piece of driftwood, good start. Get out of there with bogey after holing a 6 footer up the hill. Bogey the next after holing a 15 footer across the hill. Fuck, just as well the blade is working a little early.


Our third is a par 5, 257 carry over the bunker right, 229 over the bunker left. Flush it, carried the right bunker, fucking long there. Wait for the green to clear, have 5 wood in hand, high left to righter needed, pin cut in the back. Ball comes off with a crack, starts right, stays right, goes further right, over the bush, I think it hits a house, I’ll hit another provisional, drop, only to hit it fat, 40 short, flub it in the bunker, flop it out to 8 feet, make 8. Get fucked. 3 putt the next for bogey from 50 feet, what a fucking day.


Make 2 birdies on the front nine to turn in 38 which is pretty good after the fuck show that went on before it.

Bogey 10, par 11. Get to 12 thinking its getting better, flush the 3 wood 256 to the end of the fairway, downhill lie, 106, down 7, playing 99. Great yardage for the 52, flush, off the face hot, going left, stop for fucks sake, carries the green by 20 into the fucking trees, lost ball, double.

Here we fucking go again. Hole it from 30 feet on the next for birdie, Lip out from 8 feet for birdie on the next, Jesus Christ.

Finish the fucking disaster with bogey, bogey double for fucking 80.

What a shit show.

Would like to get it a bit straighter for Royal Melbourne on Friday.


Rookie Shooter out.

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