top of page

Sunday Fun Day - Singlets Edition


It seems like ages since Singlets strapped on the boots for a game. Sunday was the day.


You could tell the minute he arrived he was ready for the challenge, stooped over walking to the pro shop carrying his bag, straight from his own pro shop where he was for at least 4 hours cashing in on the current state of affairs. No wonder he gets a new car every couple of years.


The new standard of 3 x 6 was established as well as the usual handicap discussion, balls go up. Stickers vs The Yank and Singlets vs The Shooter.


Shooter and Singlets are first to get underway with a halved first hole in par, Shooter goes 1 up with a par after 2. Singlets is still a bit stiff from the long car ride to get to the course.

Singlets wins 3 with a 4 net 3 to get back to all square.

Singlets has the honour on 4, once the club is halfway back his back has a little twinge, the ball comes off right and into the tree line.


"This is why I don't play fucking golf" Singlets announces. As Singlets is walking off the tee, still with some smoke coming from his ears, he swings the club and hits the tee marker, a round, metal tee marker. Doesn't that make a noise.


Shooter says nothing and flushes a driver down the middle. Shooter is in better shape than that 3 wood I bet. Shooter knocks his on the green for 2 and casually 2 putts from 30 feet to go 1 up. Singlets struggles to the 5th tee, now the back is giving way.

Singlets wont stop, he is a warrior, fighting through the pain to get to 7 tee so he can have a rest. Next 2 holes halved in par to give Shooter the victory over an injured Singlets.


Stickers has been getting some advice on the range for his new method (2nd new one since Friday) and is keen to get it out onto the golf course for a run.

Stickers shoots even par over the first 6 to get a win over The Yank for the first time if I remember correctly, Stickers must be playing nicely as The Yank has been pretty consistent of late.


After a 30 minute wait, the other choppers arrive, fuck me, we have had a sit down, a chat, a drink, BBQ, chat to the drink cart girl, and cleaned out my golf bag and repacked it. Its got to be the new method that's so fucking slow.


Stickers and Shooter are first to go, Shooters ball falls off the back edge and Stickers flubs his tee shot and it goes in the front bunker.

I look around and Stickers ball is now 3 inches from the hole, I'm sure the little fucker threw it there but I cant prove it. As I look at him, I'm sure he winks, fuck me.

Shooter is standing over his 3 footer and the sun shines directly in his eyes, the great Seve would have been proud of Stickers then, getting the sun to shine off his putter into Shooters eyes, winking little fuck. Shooter misses because he is temporarily blind. 1 down.


Shooter smokes a driver up 8 with a 3 yard fade, little did I know I needed a 5 yard fade, dead as a maggot through the fairway up a tree, Stickers laughs, and doesn't even need his shot to win the hole 2 down.


Shooter hits another wayward drive right down 9, over the hill in the long grass but plays a superb wedge from 122 over the bunkers and it stops 12 feet from the hole. That's a golf shot right there. Shooter misses the putt for birdie and Stickers is claiming 5, it looked like more. His net 4 halves the hole.


Both combatants hit driver up 10, Shooter has 63 meters in, from where I'm standing Stickers has 90 or so. Stickers hits this shot that looks good as soon as it comes off the club, penetrating yet elegant, lands extremely softly, one bounce hits the pin 3 inches up and falls 4 inches from the hole. Easiest 3 Stickers has made this year, although I think the putt hit the right lip. Shooter lips out from 15 feet to lose the hole and the match.

The birdie, birdie finish on 11 and 12 were too little too late for The Shooter today.


As you know Shooter would rather pull out his fingernails with a pair of pliers than lost to Stickers but, he said he played to his strengths and played consistently enough to win, cant take that away from him, he is still claiming even par through 12.


After the hole is finished we turn around to see where the other two may be, to our surprise, The Yank is walking up 12 by himself, no Singlets. Singlets had hit a tee shot on 10 and let out a blood curdling scream, then needed to lean on the club to get back to his cart. Singlets in trouble, now retired hurt.


Stickers goes off 13 in a one ball, when he plays with himself is when he does his best work I'm told. Shooter and The Yank for the last 6. Shooter needs another win to help with the open wound that the loss to Stickers created.


13th halved and Shooter wins 14 with another natural birdie to go 1 up. Feeling good about the position so far. The Yank was unlucky to 3 putt to halve 15. Shooter still feeling ok.

Pipes one up the next and hits a little soft wedge to 15 feet. Even though The Yank gets a shot here, Shooter is confident he can carry his 1 up lead on to 17.

That's until The Yank holes his par putt from 25 feet, never looked like missing. Fuck me, 3 putts from 20 feet the hole before now dives that stake into my heart here. Fucking Yanks.


Shooter gets some frozen rope down 17, still playing 197, 4 iron finishes 18 feet behind the hole, par is only good for a half and we go to 18 all square.

The Yank says "birdie wins" which is a long held sentiment at Twin, The Yank smooths one down the right, game on. Shooter follows, down the left, it should miss the bunker and Shooter stops looking, picks up the tee.


Upon Shooters arrival, no ball, not in the bunker, not in the grass above the bunker or in the grass past the bunker, where the fuck can that go.

2 minutes 58 seconds later, The Yank says, "does it have a blue line on it". Yes it does, ball found, all is right in the world again.

Once I move branches, half trees, grass clippings and rocks, I can look at punching it out. I realised I better hurry as the fire ants are now crawling up my leg.


We are both on the green for 3, Shooter rolls his up to 2 inches and makes 5, The Yank has 20 feet from the front fringe and stubbs it, fuck, this puts a little glimmer of hope back into the Shooter equation. Now The Yank has 8 feet breaking left to right for the win, a lot harder than a 2 putt from 20 feet.


He makes the smoothest stroke all day and the ball rolls end over end until it falls in.


Shooter has 70 and gets belted all day, the standard is getting better.


Beaten up Shooter out.




Comments


bottom of page