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Round and round again



We are off again, starting in Tin Can Bay for a young blokes event for a warm up on the way to Yeppoon, always good to see how the game stacks up against the young fellas, I thought a little 73 was half decent but my playing partner had a casual 9 under, fuck me. Ball striking and putting are still lacking in confidence and execution but it’s getting there.


Yeppoon comes and goes, nothing feeling good, lack lustre ball striking and finished way down the order after two days, the Shooter‘s standard of play has really dropped off. Take off home for a couple of days relax and recharge with Sweets before tackling Bargara. Good memories there after shooting under par the last time The Shooter was here.


Nothing exciting in the practice 9 holes, except sore feet, sore back, more confusion and chafing.

Day 1 arrives and Shooter has an afternoon tee time, that’s where we belong, not in the morning with the dew kickers, fuck them choppers.

Starting on 3 wasn’t a bad thing given it’s a par 3. 167 meters wind off the left, feeling pretty good about the day, pull the fuck out of a 6 iron, carried the front left bunker, lands hard, just misses the dead stump and settles in the long grass just near the cart path. Well fuck !!!

Now I have a downhill chip shot, into the grain so it’s difficult to bounce it short but once it hits the green it can race away, nice.

Shooter hits a chip to 7 feet which was pretty good and then holes the putt that falls right to left, nice save Shoot. Pump the fuck up. Tee shot on the short par 4, 4th starts hard right, smashes into a tree and ricochets 60 meters right behind a grove of trees. Fuck. Get that up near the green and almost hole the chip, even par after 2, could have easily been 2 over, fucking Playa.

Bogie 6 with a fucking 3 whack with the electric eel to go 1 over but make a pure birdie on 7 from 3 feet to right the ship.

Still even par through 11, going ok, the step is looking more and more like a strut, the sun is out and all is right in the world. Smash a drive down 12, short, dog leg par 5, 168, into wind over the corner. 5 iron a little left of the green and no one sees it down. The OOB is 3 yards over the back of the green, a provisional is the best bet here, same line and that one lands in the bunker.

As I get closer I can see a ball embedded under the top lip of the bunker, oh fuck me, that’s all I need. Then I find the first ball in the bunker, oh yeah, fuck you embedded ball. Short sided bunker shot that I hit pure to 3 feet, fuck me that was a shot of a golf pro. Gallery applauds, I tip the hat, then the 3 footer doesn’t get a fucking lip. Now I feel as though I have left one out there. Still even par.


13 is a short par 4, surrounded by bunkers and grassy mounds with an OOB fence at the back. Shooter smashes it onto the front edge of the green 35 feet from the hole, now we are playing. Knife that chip over the green, the next putt back got caught in the grass and rolled down 6 feet short and the left lip was sharp as as fuck as the ball gained speed on the way out of it. Fucking bogey, now I think I am 3 behind where I should be, fuck it.


14, a par 3, Shooter hits a 6 iron from 162, fuck me if that doesn’t look good, that’s until it lands on the right back edge and takes a side bounce towards the hedge but finishes in the grass on the walking path to the next tee. Flub, flub, flub, hole for a terrific double. Fuck it’s just got hot.

Iron from the next tee, toe 4 iron, lands in the fairway, 87 meters to a back flag, perfect 56, flies the bunker and lands on the back plateau of the green, 4 feet from the hole, unfortunately, the green was as hard as a cats head and the ball goes over the back, down the hill through the trees and into a wet, mud filled culvert, at least it’s also on the downslope to completely fuck me in the arse, so so good. Another double makes a pair. Always good when they are in a row too. It’s suddenly feeling like 50 degrees for fucks sake.


15 is a great hole around a lake that takes a surgical tee shot to be right of the lake but not as far right to be blocked out by the trees, the 3 wood is pure, 3 yard draw to a perfect position, as I get close, I notice it’s in a half filled divot, I must have a fuck me sign on my back. That comes out low right, stuck in grainy grass in the fringe, flub, putt catches left lip, bogey. Bogey 17 as the short sided bunker shot I hit lands on the kikuyu fringe and kicks forward to 15 feet and the lip out makes me question golf, putters, kikuyu, luck and life.


3 to to play, c’mon Shooter finish strong for fucks sake, it’s been a tough day, 50 degrees rising steadily with each lip out, back sore, feet sore, I’m sure my left shoe is filled with blood. Flush the drive down 18, need to start something again, chief off the deck seemed like a good idea, until I hit a 50 yard pull. Now I have a 51 metre shot over 2 gum trees that are 70 feet high and 30 yards in front of me, off a downslope, of course Shooter has that shot. I hit the knife into the middle of the tree and it fell down underneath into the largest collection of sticks, weeds and spiders I have ever seen. The bogey 6 seems right somehow.


The last 2 pars seem a little of an anticlimax. 35 front, 44 back.


Looks like I’ll be back in the morning with the good players kicking dew tomorrow.

Smashed up Shooter out.



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