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Roll up Roll up

Sunday rolls around again, just like another Shooter update.

Contribution was an omission from this weeks events as he had some other pressing issues to attend to. We searched for a 4th at short notice and Sweets puts her hand up to be considered. We will have to watch the language and perhaps not get as many details about Stickers sordid weekend but we do what we must.

Balls go up, Singlets and Stickers vs Sweets and Shooter, there was a suggestion from Singlets that Sweets and Stickers play together and then it would be boys vs girls, Stickers didn’t like the inference, their team was now off to a rocky start.

Stickers fast out of the gate, hits his 3rd to 5 feet at the first and makes the putt, looks a fucking treat with his new putting stroke, as the ball disappears into the hole for the first birdie of the day, I must admit, not much surprises Shooter with this crowd these days but this did. Early days.

Sweets makes 5 with a shot, nice half Stickers.

Stickers does it again with another fine iron to 3, Sweets hits hers to the front edge, rolls it down to a foot, holes it for a win, bad luck Stickers.

Singlets has bought a full compliment of weapons this week, not sure how many he will use after his mini set performed quite well last week. Singlets hits it hard right on 3 with a rescue, I think I almost heard the first fuck of the day. Shooter plugging away, yet to hit a green, yet to hit a fairway, still even par through 4. Sweets continues to hit fairways.

They are a few down at this stage and I can see some cracks appearing in the outer shell of their team, Singlets hit a top that rolls into the lake on 8, not fucking happy now, makes 6. Stickers short from the bunker, tells everyone that in the vicinity, even the poor fuckers on the 2nd tee, that he has hit a great shot out of there, we remind him that he is 20 yards short of the green so it couldn’t have been that good a shot. Shooter short left after a fantastic recovery from the biggest kangaroo print on the bunker you have ever seen, so big the whole ball was an inch below the surface. As usual, Shooter expects no favours and asks for none. These fuckers have smiles on their faces when they see my lie.

Sweets hits her 2nd to a foot, holes it for birdie with a shot, Stickers flubs his chip, makes 5. Singlets unhappy. 9 down, back 9 to play, the fuckers are 6 down. Sweets says “is it always this easy to take their money” Bit fucking harsh I thought. Shooter is even par in the individual, leading Stickers by 3 and Singlets by 5

Stickers starts to complain that he wants to change the bet. Fuck me ! He wants to abandon the bet we have and start a new one. I try to explain that that isn’t a good idea, Singlets agrees, Stickers pouts. I tell him if he played better all would be ok. Stickers tells me to get fucked, again I thought harsh.

We stock up on drinks from Stickers house and continue the slaughter. Stickers new putting stroke isn’t as solid as it was on the first green, a couple are starting to slide by the edges, frustration is growing on their team. As usual, all Shooters team is seeing is the blue sky listening to the birds singing. Shooter birdies 13 to get back to even par after a rare bogey on 11, then misses one from 4 feet on 14 for par. No idea what happened there, birdies 15 to make up for the error.

After another Shooter birdie on 18 to shoot 72, Stickers and Singlets have had their asses handed to them. It’s a fucking demolition.

Sweets shoots 85 to almost knock them over off the stick. Singlets pays his bet, surveys the damage to his golf bag after a club unceremoniously smashes into it on 8 tee and leaves 2 inches of rubber in the car park.

Stickers very sad after another fine theory goes the way of the 3582 before it.

Sweets does the right thing and uses the money she won to buy the drinks, Shooters winnings straight into the Chop Chop Envelope, another day another payment to the envelope by the boys.

Stickers said he only had $15, I reminded him he lost front, back and overall, so that equals $20, he cries, says it’s not fair, his bottom lip is quivering. As Shooter is a man of the people and a champion of the down trodden, I tell Stickers that $15 is enough for today and he can give me the other $5 later, he can combine it with the $5 from the previous week he didn’t pay. The interest rate is quite reasonable.

It seems the individual bet is something the Shooter won’t be getting either, fuck me times must be tough, they seem to have forgotten there was a bet, not a fucking word.

Cheeky fuckers. 

Humble Shooter out.


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