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Christmas Shooter – Creating a monster

Its nearing Christmas and Shooter thought it’s a good opportunity to take a couple of boys to the country club for a little hit. Arrangements were made, permissions granted, brownie points erased and a foursome was assembled.  A couple of old favourites, the Rocklicker and Razor and a first timer to the country club.


Its decided Razor and Rocklicker vs Shooter and Warfighter.


Razor jumps out early with a dart to the first green, fuck, he is here to play. Despite Razor missing the putt, The Shooter is 1 down. Fuck me, the Shooter fires 2 rockets into the 2nd then makes a little 3 jiggle for a bogey and quickly rockets to 2 down. How the fuck did that happen ? All is made whole again with a birdie for Shooter and a nice par from Warfighter to ease the new course nerves.


After Shooter almost holes it on 4 from 149 and converts 10 footer for another birdie, Warfighter plays a majestic bunker shot, holes the putt and now we are back to all square. These fuckers don’t know what’s about to hit them.

Razor is putting up a fight, Warfighter gets unlucky on 6, Rocklicker has his own struggles and Shooter is going along ok at -1. I think we are getting into a groove and they are about to feel the wrath.


For a guy that has never played the course before, the Warfighter seems to be in his element, the extremely hard 8th hole, usually a bogeyfest, yields a birdie the likes I have not seen for some time. The call was made that the Warfighter is showing no respect for the difficulty of that hole or the course in general so far.  All that was heard was “That’s the way us Warfighters roll” as he tipped his cap and fucked off to the 9th tee.


We make the turn at 3 up with Shooter at -1, Warfighter +3, no wonder we are up. Razor’s 20 points any other day would have been good. Today shit.

Shooter, whilst happy with the outcome early, councils Warfighter that the back 9 plays differently, more open, harder, it allows the wind in. Shooter says, this 10th hole is the hardest par 4 in Australia. Fuck that says Warfighter and smashes a 3 wood to 25 feet and casually 2 putts for a solid par. Fuck me, what have I created.


When you fly too close to the sun, you are bound to get burned. Warfighter drowns a ball on 13 and Shooter failing to get up and down from the back fringe was a chink in the armour. We have lost 12, 13, 14 and 15. Fuck me, back to 1 up. We had some premature congratulations early but now it’s a bit more serious.

16 playing 157, Rocklicker gets out some frozen rope to the back fringe, makes 3, Razor embedded in the face of the front bunker after chat chat on the tee, makes 5. We manage to halve that hole with another perfect 3 jiggle with the electric eel Shooter is trying to putt with. Fuck.

1 up 2 to play.


Warfighter smashes his driver long in the left fairway, Shooter hits a high block cut into the piss. Fuck off. 2nd ball in the piss today. Razor and the Rocklicker are having issues of their own. Shooter drops ball, smashes it over the water to the fringe. Warfighter hits a solid 5 iron into the perfect lay up zone, makes 5.


That’s enough for the Warfighter and Shooter to take the cash and stick one up the more fancied opponents. Razor has 39 points off 12 for 81, Rocklicker has a long look into his golf bag for his wallet, Warfighter on his maiden voyage around the country club equipped himself well for 37 after a smoking hot 22 out and Shooter bogies, 13, 14, 16, 17 for 75. Fuck me Shooter if you could only hole putts.


You only need to let out enough to win the bet.

Humble winning Shooter out.

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