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Looper - Australian PGA - Part 2



67,362 is the amount of steps we tracked this week, even having Tuesday off. That is 51.329 kilometers for fucks sake, why would I do that voluntarily with a golf bag strapped to me ?


I am still suspect Andrew had water bottles in the bottom of the bag despite him telling me he didn't. Every time a club went back in there was a distinct plastic sound. I was going to have a look but didn't have time, it feels like I was running everywhere and besides it would have been hard to tell with the 6 other water bottles in there.


Day 2, fresh, rested, pumped up from our grinding even par round on Day 1. 12 midday tee time, little sleep in and casual run to the course.


I thought we had done quite well yesterday, no complaints (officially) from any marshals or volunteers even though I thought we were close when our playing partner hit one over the back of 17 that ran down to the stands. AS was getting ready to hit his bunker shot from an embedded lie, carefully digging his feet in, squatting to make sure he can deliver the club at the perfect angle, rehearse, rehearse almost ready to pull the trigger when old mate comes running over yelling at the walking scorer that our playing partner may need a ruling.

AS stops and looks at the guy and says "mate, are you ok, I'm about to hit a shot here"

Old mate replies and says "yes but you're playing partner might need a ruling.


I am sure I saw a red mist descend over him and the blood pressure alarm went off on his watch. "Mate, I don't give a fuck about a ruling, he is a golf pro, I am sure he can work it out himself" Old mate takes 2 steps backwards.

AS cleaned up his mess with the marshal after he made the putt and now they are friends.


The process is coming together, the guys on the gate know us now, driving straight in, we drive to our prime parking position to find out it was taken, fuck me don't they know who he is ? He is Andrew Stolz, he has won on every tour in the world (except Europe where he ran 2nd).

We get another park, as usual, Andre heads to player dining and Shooter, grabs the bag and heads to the range. After signing some balls for the kids, a couple of flags and some hats, the boss arrives, couple more selfies for the fans and The Shooter has to get to work.

As usual, Andre is piping it on the range, off to pitch and chip some then some bunker work and finally off to roll a few before heading out.


Off to a rough start again, second bad yardage for the week from The Shooter on the first hole, it was only 23 meters out, if he had a keen eye he would have been able to tell I think. He must be new to this shit.


We are a couple over through 4, when I say a couple, I mean 3. Andrew asks me to make up a Powerade for him to get him primed up, its a hot day and it seems Mr Precious needs a pep up. Flushes it down 5, unlucky to not hole the putt, seems to be the theme for today.


On the 7th tee, Shooter decides its time to give his man a little talking to. Andrew smashes it down the par 5 and hits 5 iron in and makes a natural birdie. Now we are heading in the right direction. Good motivation Shooter.

We should be able to birdie 9 and get back to +1 for the day.


9 is playing into the wind, now stronger than it has been all day, 2 more bottles of water in the bag just to make it heavier, ours ends up in the fairway trap and now remedial action needs to be taken and a lay up to a good number is required. Shooter is pounding out the steps. After coming out of the bunker we have 163 front, flag on 9 into a 2 club wind. Andre hits a shot that is 5 feet left of the stick and it never leaves its line, true frozen rope shit right there, problem was the strike was so good the wind didn't hit it at all, now its a foot off the back edge of the green and we have to chip it over a bunker downhill to the flag.

Now I called Sportsbet once I saw the lie and shot ahead, I got odds of $1.10 of Andrew getting it up and down, $150.00 of Shooter getting it up and down, $4.50 on the Shooter knife and $6.50 on Shooter laying the sod over one and flubbing it into the trap.

Fuck Sportsbet.


Before the putting begins Andre sends me to get a coke, he needs a hit.

I will take the bag over to 10 tee, you fuck off and get me Coke, I don't care where from, Pro Shop, concession stand or player lounge, just get one.

Without The Shooter to give him the read, the putt didn't go in. We go to the 10th +3 for the day. He convinces the other player in the group he has sacked The Shooter through 9 holes, none of them seem surprised, now that is brutal.


Now we have to grind. Andre goes against Shooters recommendation of club on 10, he should have known better.

God shot on 11, one guy in the gallery said , Fuck me, as it off, just perfect, putt doesn't roll down the hill, par, had a little pitch in to 12, the large swale didn't take a bounce at all, ball ends up in the back trap on a downslope. For Fucks sake, kiss me first RQ.

Great bunker shot out and makes the putt for par.

Bomb one up 13, ball slightly above our feet, little tug to hold it up against the wind. The ball comes to rest just off the green, now we have 2 sprinklers in our line, this golf course just requires precision at every turn. Not a great 3rd but an outstanding putt for par.

Shot into 14, flag on 6, perfect little 8 iron in, the ball lands 6 feet left of the flag, then runs 8o feet to the back fringe, the putt looks in until it his an old pitch mark and bounces. Good 4.


+4, we need to make every one count, second shot into 15 we leave over the bunker 25 yards from the green, flag cut just over a ridge. Perfect pitch shot and a nice roll for birdie, back to +3, how do you like that shit Sportsbet.


Flag on 16 cut on the back left, over the swale, 115 into the wind, at 122 you are dead over the back. Shooter says, hit the wedge, I know it goes 120. You are into the wind, the ball will stop, trust it but be right of the flag as its the best line to putt from. Andrew is like a robot, once you punch the information in he goes at it.

He didn't do what he was told, starting to think I don't need to be here, flights it, straight at it, the wind moves it a yard left of the stick, yardage is perfect, another birdie. Now he is pumped.


The party hole had caused a couple of problems this week, the yardage was always in between. You just need to land it on, short is dead, long is dead, last thing you want now is to be long and have yahoos tipping beer on you as you are trying to pitch it.

Controlled wedge to the centre of the green.


Biggest roar of the day was when the crowd were yelling out for the ball and Andrew walked to 18 tee. I don't think he handles a yobbo well. Shooter, always the man of the people, unzipped the bag and threw a few out though, got to keep the fans happy, plus, they weren't mine so its fine.


18 tee, back to +2, pretty sure we need to make par here, flushed the driver, didn't go as far as the previous days, maybe a little sneaky wind there. Early in the week we were hitting shots to 18 and landing them on the front edge, the ball was going all the way to the back, nothing to say this wouldn't still be the case.

Nice contact, ball moves left on the wind, lands on the green and runs in the back trap, tough break there. Squirty little downhill no sand lie, ball comes out to 14 feet.


Andre calls Shooter in for a look, read confirmed. He knows he needs this. As was the case most of the day, he hits a pure putt that doesn't go in.

We finish with +3 and as it turns out miss the cut by 1. Devastated.


67, 362 steps later Shooter is wiser, tired, shattered, emotional and humbled. I found it hard to do my media after, choking back the words, I kept thinking back to the times he should have taken advice and he didn't, who knows what the outcome may have been.


I know one thing, despite the result, it puts us in good stead to win next week at the Queensland PGA. That's unless Andrew / Andre is out interviewing new loopers.


Hopeful Shooter out.











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